Big Brothers Big Sisters of Langley - Our Stories and Testimonials

We would like to feature personal stories here that demonstrate the impact of our program. Please feel free to contact the agency to share your experiences

"The End of a Journey Together"

Please take a minute to read the following story, it was written by Brenda Anderson, who is our Past President, a Big Sister, and a journalist with the Langley Times. We thank Brenda for sharing her story as well as sharing her life with her Little Sister!

Yesterday marked the formal end of a six-and-a-half year journey which changed me profoundly as a person and which, I can only hope, has made a difference in someone else’s life, too.

On Saturday, I bid an official farewell to my Little Sister, as she turned 18 and our match closed.

I first met Jessica at a craft night in October 2001. A dozen or so women and girls, most of whom I’d never met, were seated around a long table in the Big Brothers Big Sisters office in downtown Langley City.

We might have been decorating cards or gluing glitter and macaroni onto something, I really don’t remember. And it really doesn’t matter.

The one image that has stayed with me from that evening is of a pretty 11-year-old stranger. Tall and skinny, she had olive skin, dark eyes, brown curls and a slightly anxious expression on her face.

Crowds of strangers clearly weren’t her thing, but she’d worked up the courage to come and check out one of the agency’s group activities.

We were matched a short time later and I officially became a Big Sister.

What followed were easily 100 movie nights and countless conversations over White Spot chicken strips.

Wall climbing, laser tag, water slides and snowboarding at agency-organized events punctuated our more run-of-the-mill get-togethers.

But in many ways those more staid outings were the best, because that was when I was able to really get to know this intelligent young lady. I quickly learned how kindhearted and thoughtful she is. And her wide range of interests always made it easy to sit and gab for ages — chats which always included plenty of laughs.

From the outset she was big into art and music — drawing and painting, singing and playing guitar. She can’t get enough karaoke or Dance Dance Revolution.

Her love of animals drew her into a brief period of vegetarianism, but in the end she couldn’t give up her beloved chicken strips.

I haven’t peeked inside her closet lately, but it is no doubt filled with black T-shirts and skull logos — evidence of a long and enthusiastic goth phase which appears, thankfully, to be winding down (not that it’s for me to judge).

Whenever I pressed my finger to the doorbell over the years, it was always a mystery whether I would be greeted by a girl with black, blonde, blue, green or fuchsia hair.

There have been braces on her teeth, Mohawk hairstyles and numerous piercings. And, if all has gone to plan, her first tattoo is healing as this goes to print.

At 18, those decisions are hers to make now.

Still, she understands the balance she must strike between expressing her individuality and landing that all-important first job, and so her hair is a very sensible brown once more (of course, that could change at any moment).

It’s been a trip watching Jessica grow from that bashful girl to the poised young woman she is today.She’s still soft-spoken and a little shy. But she’s also, hands down, one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met. And though she’s not my Little Sister anymore, I’m proud to call her my friend. Happy Birthday, JessicaOne of our long term volunteers and board member, Jo-Anne Heinze recently won the weekly prize in a contest of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Canada. The contest is part of the Alumni, sponsored by Keg Restaurants, and is entitled "Search for the Great Canadian Big"

Jo-Anne's winning entry:

'I have been a Big Sister in the traditional program for many years. I really enjoy the time I spend with my little sister Alyssa. We have been matched for two years and we will never forget the first day we spent together.

"For our first outing we decided to hang out at my place where we could play with the dog, plant some vegetables, and take a walk through the trails at the back of the property. We were both very nervous and were trying to be on our best behavior. Logan, my golden retriever was bouncing around us like a crazy dog but we didn't mind a bit, it was nice to have him as an ice breaker. Just when we hit one of those awkward moments of silence, wondering what to say next, Alyssa spotted our backyard pond. What a relief I thought, we can make small talk around the pond and I sent her on a hunt to find Nemo and Dorey, our two oldest goldfish. She screeched out with glee, there is a frog in your pond. Oh he's probably a friend of Nemo and Dorey I replied as I slowly sauntered over to the pond to take a look. Hunched over the pond together with our noses close to the water I chuckled and said, so where is this frog you found? As I followed the line of sight over her small outstretched arm the frog slowly came into focus. It is difficult to explain what I felt at that moment. I do know I fell apart and completely lost my composure. You see, this was no ordinary frog, it was a monster frog! It was a foot wide, had a very large mouth and was slimy green with warts. I screamed at the top of my lungs and ran off like a crazed women to get help. So much for first impressions.

We will never forget the first day we spent together, it was truly magical!

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From a previous golf tournament which featured Bernadette who gave the following speech - thanks for sharing Bernadette!

bern

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I am Bernadette, I am 14 years old and I am going into grade 9 at RE Mountain Secondary School. I have been brought here tonight to talk to you about my experience with Big Sisters and the life adventures that brought me to them.

To start this story of we have to go back 6 years. To a small town called Wolesley in the middle of Saskatchewan. It is July 2 my mother’s birthday, which is the day before my birthday . I am at my friend Amber’s house and her mom comes out to the yard to tell me that my mom has just died of Non Hodgkins Lymphoma, a type ofcancer. At the time I am 7 years old (turning 8 the next day). Imagine how I would have handled this? I just stood there with shock in my eyes until I just fell down and started crying. Even though I had been kind of expecting this. She had been sick for a long time but I had always thought she would get better. But she didn’t. In the years to come my friends started to abandon me as grief slowly drove me to be a person I didn’t want to be but didn’t know how to fight. After 2 years of therapy Dad thought a change of people and scenery would be good. So we pick up the pieces of our lives and moved back to our roots in British Columbia. So now we live in Langley. After about 3 months of thinking Dad decided I need a female role model in my life. With all the teasing that I got at school I thought it could be a good distraction. Let’s just say I only had3 friends and they were in a different class. So after 3 months of waiting the nice people at Big Sisters sent Twyla. At first Twyla’s very out there personality scared me a little but once recovering from that very interesting first meeting I have discovered that Twyla is a really great person. And she set me up with my first Big Sister, Rita Stel. I thought she was so cool.Rita had a house near White Rock beach, she taught me to oil paint. It was great. But after about 1 year she got a promotion and had to move to Calgary. But Ce Le Vie, life goes on.

Then about a year ago I got matched up with my current Big Sister Kina. She is such an inspiration to me. There is just something special and I know I have made a really good friend in her. She may be older than me but I couldn’t care less. Big Sisters has helped me get over the traumatic death of my mother by providing me with great role models and people I can talk to. Iwouldn’t have the confidence to come up here today and talk to you if it wasn’t for them. And last summer they even sent me to a Tim Horton’s camp in Ontario, where I learned how to sing O Canada in French.Which is funny because I don’t normally like French any way. I’m just beginning to deal with the anger and pain of my mom’s death. I’m slowly bringing down the stone wall that kept me from ever being as close to anyone else as I had been with my mother. My life now is better than ever. The things and people that have helped me recover are like little gears in a clock and Big Sisters was a very big gear. But also my family and friends are pretty big gears themselves. And that brings you up to date with my life adventures.

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Please find below a story from a mother in our program, a story she shared with us all at a Volunteer Appreciation event:

"When Twyla asked me to do this, my first reaction was sheer terror, I don't do public speaking, but then I thought about it and my passion for Big Brothers got the better of my fear. I would like to thank Big Brothers for all the great things they've done, not only for my son, but for all the kids in their wonderful programs.

My son lost his dad when he was not quite three and not by design had mainly women as his role models in the early years. His daycare was done by women, his kindergarten and early schooling was mainly female. So we couldn't wait to get signed up for Big Brothers. From the very beginning even before he was matched the organization was inclusive. They invited him to the Christmas parties and game nights. Twyla put his name forward to Dreams Take Flight and he got to go to Disneyland for the day. This past summer they sponsored him for summer camp and he went to the camp he had hoped to attend with many of his friends from Youth Group at our church. These are events that he will remember and cherish his entire life.

Then the big day came and he was matched, unfortunately the first match wasn't quite right. But with communication and Twyla's patient understanding, the match was ended and neither my son nor the Big left the match feeling hurt. Thank goodness it wasn't too long before he was matched again and this time he was matched to an angel. His Big Brother has become an important part in both our lives.

As a single parent of a son, no matter how much I love him, there are just some things that, as a woman, I can't be part of in his life. I understand this because I was raised in a single parent home with the absent parent being my mother. I remember how much I longed to have my mother to talk to when I was having boyfriend problems, or the old dreaded "female problems", and when graduation time came, wishing that she was there to go shopping with. This is where the service provided by Big Brothers and Sisters is so important.

Over the past three years the time that Gary has stepped in and performed the role of male mentor has been countless. He intervened at the school on our behalf when Sean was facing some bullying issues. He is Sean's confidante and is very respectful of keeping those confidences. He shares in all Sean's joys and concerns. He shares his wisdom and helps to guide Sean through these discovering adolescent years. He shares his personal stories about growing up and tells him stories that a boy would normally only hear when a father and son are out of the hearing range of a mother. You know the ones, the really bad stories that are told in the hope that the child won't repeat the same behviour, but we all know that once they find out we did it, they think it's ok for them to do it. He has also give Sean the gift of an extended family by including him in family outings when his own family visits. These are such priceless gifts and they help mould a child into a caring and compassionate adult. I sets a groundwork for the type of parents that they may someday become.

In my son's words "there are no words to properly describe how great Big Brothers and Big Sisters are" and I agree with him. I would imagine that from the perspective if the Big it must be pretty rewarding and wonderful to play such an importnat role in a child's life. I know I for one would like to become more involved with this organization by becoming a Big Sister. They say that the reason most people volunteer is because someone asked them, well if you're enjoying your volunteer experience with Big Brothers and Sisters, share the experience with your friends by asking them to volunteer.

Finally I want to again thank the staff and the volunteers of Big Brothers and Sisters for being part of our lives.

Thank you.”

Inge Smith